4 Things You Need to Know to Tame Your Ego

Tame Your Ego

By Mary Beth Hazeldine

September 18, 2016

1. We need Ego to navigate through life.  It is neither good nor bad.


Why does ego get such a bad rap?  Merriam-Webster defines 'egotism' as the feeling or belief that you are better, more important, more talented, etc. than other people." 

Should You Tame Your Ego?


While there are certainly those who have an exaggerated sense of self importance, in my experience, the majority of people suffer from insecurity and a more negative opinion of themselves. 


The ego is simply our self-image -- our awareness of ourselves.


From the moment we're born, we begin to form our self-image, which includes our body and our mind. It is simply a part of being human. We need to know who we are and how we fit into the world.


The ego itself is neutral unless we begin to take it seriously and believe that our self-image is true.  In the latter case, you will find it beneficial to tame your ego.


2.  Ego is not our true self.


In the film "The Matrix," ego is "the veil that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth...a person that you cannot smell or taste or touch. A prison for your mind."


Our true self is perfect and the only thing that stops us from seeing this is ego or our personal thinking. If you can get ego out of the way, your true self will naturally emerge without having to do anything.


In business and in life, you will find that you have all it takes to intuitively solve problems, become a charismatic leader and be an inspiration to others. These qualities are already inside you and you don't need to learn them. You simply need to get your ego out of the way so that they can emerge.


3.  Ego is a sense of separation from the rest of life and it gets in the way of experiencing real happiness.


Ego is what makes us unique and separate. Tennessee Williams said, "We're all sentenced to solitary confinement inside our own skins."


We are all looking for happiness and for those experiences that make us feel filled with joy, love and bliss. That is only possible when we put our egos aside and connect with something much larger than ourselves.


I love the meaning of the Sanskrit greeting, "Namaste" - I honour the place within you where the entire Universe resides; I honour the place within you of love, of light, of truth, of peace; I honour the place within you, where, when you are in that place in you, and I am in that place in me, there is only one of us."


When you can truly connect with others and with nature, the real magic begins to happen.


This is true in business as well. We are often so caught up in our egos, in our sense of self-importance, that we don't connect with colleagues or clients and we don't really listen. Teamwork can take on an entirely new meaning when we begin to connect with others at a deeper level and put our personal thinking aside. Sales can become effortless when we truly connect with our clients.


Leadership skills can rise to a new level if we can form a deeper bond with others, listen beyond the words, see the best in people and accept the humanness that binds us all together.


3.  Ego is totally made up!


The ego isn't fixed...it is fluid...it can change. One day we might think that we are intolerant and short-tempered and the next day we might have a totally different view of ourselves as being patient and understanding. The reason that it changes is because our ego is formed solely via our thinking -- our beliefs, our thoughts about ourself! That's it!  


If the ego is just our thinking, then it is 100% made up and not true! As Samael Aun Weor said, ego is "a web of illusion that prevents us from comprehending our true nature and identity."


We are the greatest illusionists that have ever existed. Your whole image of who you are is nothing more than a sleight of hand magic trick. It's not true!


Once you begin to realise that you are totally making up your own self-image and that it is comprised of nothing more than your thoughts in the moment, it will begin to lose its power over you. After all, do you really believe those magic tricks? We know that it is just a matter of the hand being quicker than the eye.


Once you begin to see that all of those negative opinions we have about ourselves -- about being unable to do certain things, being shy, being unsociable, being too serious, being stupid, not any good at this or that -- are all just made up, your ego will begin to take a back seat and let your true self emerge. Your insecurities will fall away.


When your true self emerges, you will find that you are "in the flow." Whether you are an athlete looking to be on top of your game, an entrepreneur looking for the next creative idea or an executive looking to inspire his/her team, this state of mind or "flow" can only be achieved if we get our egos and personal thinking out of the way.


How can I achieve this?


By now, you are probably asking yourself this question. What do I do? What steps can I take to tame my ego and get it out of the way?


The answer is that there is nothing for you to do. Simply having an understanding of the fact that your self-image is totally made-up, totally illusionary, is sufficient to allow you to realise the implications in various areas of your life.


It's like when you have a bad dream or nightmare. It all seems so real and scary, but at some point you wake up and realise that it "was only a dream." Whatever negative feelings you were experiencing suddenly lose their strength and hold on you.


As you listen to all the mind chatter, telling you that you can't do this or can't do that, that you are no good at this or no good at that, perhaps you will have a moment of clarity and realise for yourself that this isn't true at all, but just something you've made up. When that happens, the limitations you have put on yourself will fall away and lose their power over you.


If you are interested in accessing your Pure Potential more often and more easily, all you have to do is "stay in the conversation."



Mary Beth Hazeldine is a teen mentor, executive coach, leadership consultant and corporate wellness advisor.  She helps individuals, professionals and organisations tap into the wisdom and intelligence that allows them to be "in the flow" more often and experience success and mental wellbeing. You can find out more about Mary Beth and her work at purepotentialparadigm.com